The Allentown Disaster

So I'm somewhat recovered from the trip so I'm going to give this a shot. I'll probably have to reread and do some edits tomorrow, but let's get the show on the road.

It started off as any regular Saturday. I ran out of work around 4:30 to my buddies and waited for Digital to pick us up. Surprise! Getting out on NYC on Friday around 5 is an absolute nightmare!!!!

And the nightmare begins. So we get straight downpours this evenin

g and Digital gets stuck on 95 around Stamford for an hour. During this time Little Armenia and I are drinking Coronas and chilling. Digital rolls in around 6 to pick us up stressed as hell from stop and go traffic all the way. We load our stuff up and hit the road. We head out and get stuck in terrible traffic trying to get through the Holland Tunnel. Nothing funny about this, just sat there for an hour. Digital grabbed some street meat while we wer

e sitting there.

We end up getting into Allentown around 1o, unpack out stuff and hit the Sands Casino in Leigh Valley. Casino was good, everyone tied it on and lost a little cash. Craps is a bitch, but I love her. We get escorted out of the casino by security an

d head back to Cheese Steaks jaunted mansion. Digital goes limp hard (picture in Go Limp).

We hit Center Valley Club on Saturday afternoon. http://www.centervalleyclubgolf.com/

Here's some cheesedick we saw on the way to the course in a Mazda Miata rocking to popped collars and hair plugs.

Little Armenia A.K.A. The Armenian Meatstick goes limp on the 14th tee box, but somehow still shoots a 77. Freaking amazing!

The Meatstick hits out of the water on 15.

http://www.centervalleyclubgolf.com/golf/course-map

We actually had an amazing round. I shot my best score ever by 12 strokes and also had about 12 cocktails on the course. We completely dominated it.

We had later tee times so we were able to play for $40. The course was a little beat up a day of playing, but was still nice. We saved $40 each so it was well worth the wait. This is one of my favorite courses that I play. The front 9 is very different then the back 9 and it's not too challenging. If you can drive decently you can dominate the course. The greens were hilly, but not too fast so we could really take advantage of the place. Best deal is to buy the cooler and fill it there. I think it was $19 or something. The cart lady is a bit old, like 60 or so. I know she needs to earn, but come on.

I would recommend this course to anyone. It's a nice course and they leave you along and let you get after it out there.

That's about all I can remember to be honest. I'll have to think and write more later. Jeez I'm terrible at this

We were supposed to play on Sunday but got too banged up to make our 11 o'clock tee time. What a mess!!!!

PA Trip

We're almost out of here! I'm being scooped up by Digital at 4 and we'll start a drive down to Allentown. I think the Albanian Meatstick is rolling with us as well so we got 3 big dudes jammed into a 2011 A4. Should be nice and tight. Oh and I can't forgte the cooler that will be in the back seat to beat on.

We're playing Center Valley Club on Saturday. The place is probably the nicest course I've ever played. www.centervalleyclubgolf.com

I'll let you know all the antics of the weekend. I think we're getting a party bus for tonight to make sure no one missed their tee time because they're stuck in jail.

OUT!!!

Good Old Bill Clinton

Golf is like life in a lot of ways.... All the biggest wounds are self-inflicted
- Bill Clinton (2000)

Allentown Trip

The life wrecks and I are getting out of our safety zone and taking the show on the road. We'll be hitting up Allentown PA this weekend and staying in Mikey Cheese steak's haunted mansion. Chick died there a couple months ago (of old age or something). Should be a hell of a time. We're hitting a couple courses and the Sand in Leigh Valley.

Lots to report I hope

Tashua Knolls Late Sunday Special - Home of the 20oz Cocktail

It started out like any other Sunday after tying one on. The guys and I hit the Duck in Westport for some stiff drinks and to catch up with a buddy. After about an hour of listening to assenine antics stuff got pretty boring so we decided to hit up the back 9 at Tahsua. They run a Sunday special, I think it's $20 for the back 9 after 4 pm or something like that. The back 9 here is considerably better then the front 9 so I don't really know what they're thinking there.

You gotta hit up the 20 oz cocktail. shit's legit and gets the round going right.

We're getting ready in the parking lot before the round. The back nine gets pretty rowdy. We stocked our bags, but the guys in front of us put a 30 pack in their bags. That must have been one intense 9.

View from the Tee box on 11. Hard dog leg left. Usually I end up taking my second shot from around the tree on the hill. Not a hard one.

Here's the view from the 14th tee box. Best hole on the course by far, but a difficult one. Bob rocked his drive, then hit his second shot off of the shed and pulled out a par somehow. Oh to have that up and down game.

I ended up with a cocksucking 8.

This is the view on 15. Not as nice.

Was an awesome round. I was 8 over on the two par 3's. fantastic. I'm glad I continue to pay to play this game.

Scores for the back 9

Bob- 38 strokes

Dave - 57 strokes

Conor - 50 strokes

Hit Pepe's up in Ffld and got after it with some pizza. Ran into a trash bag waitress that we used to know. She's terrible, but has awesome tits. I told her that she needs to wear a tighter shirt to get a good tip and we basically berated her for an hour then left. Of course she wanted to hang with the Conman, but he doesn't go that shit.

Got back to NYC at 12:30 AM and had to work the next day. Fun Monday, Fun Monday.....

Life Wrecks

Hit our favorite terrible bar and terrorized it.

The wheel is still a hole

Played the Wheel early in the year and it showed. Was probably way too cold to play, but we still got out there and gave it a whirl. Played like shit, but it was the first round of the year.

The front 9 are absolutely terrible. I can grow better grass on my roof. The back 9 were pretty legit though. Just play the back 9 until they fix it up.

Richter Park debockle

Let me start by saying the front 9 at Richter are amazing. You're hitting over water multiple times and the fairways and greens are immaculate. I did lose about 15 balls playing here though, but it was worth it. I was able to hit it in May so it was only $53 per person. The back 9 are nice, but it's difficult to compare to the front 9.

Cart girl isn;t too bad, but says snotty remarks about bringing your own beer on the course. I circumvented that by bringing a bottle of Smirnoff and buying multiple power aids from her sweet little ass. Pounding a bunch of those surprisingly doesn't make anyones game better.

Seriously though the course is mint! All the blind fairway shots eat balls. We were right on some dudes asses the entire time and had a group right on our heels.